It turns out that once she ate some contaminated food at a national restaurant chain (she would not say which) and got food poisoning. Really bad food poisoning, so bad it damaged her kidneys. I’m not sure if the food was not cooked properly, or had fecal microorganisms, or what, but it must have been really bad.

Anyway, she had this terrible case of food poisoning. So bad that she lost most of the functioning of her kidneys, or was it her liver, I don’t remember. Anyway, she found a lawyer to represent her against the restaurant chain in a lawsuit. Her food poisoning lawyer must have been a great litigator, because she received a “seven-figure settlement.” (That means over $1 million, in case you are doing the calculations.)

So now you see why we were scared of her? We chewed our fingernails when she ate in the dining room…would she catch an E. coli or a strep or a staph or a norovirus or something and sic her food poisoning lawyer on us?

The kitchen staff was all smiles when I told them she had checked out.